Hello friends.. Happy new Year to all Visitors , hope
this year will bring you lots of hope and new Paths. We all are doing right
stuff but r v doing the right stuff in a right way?? My Blog is on relationship
. How can we make a strong relationship? and its should be Cool as well . Here
are some observations which I have seen in many relationships.
First : Be together for the right reasons that is
the priority of any relationship because in every relationship there should be
some basic and core requirements/expectations for each other . Don’t ever be with someone because
someone else pressured you to. Its wrong because Being together for reasons. So
find out the base of your relationship first. the relationship looked good from Outside but it does
not mean its good from Inside.
SECOND : You should have realistic expectations about relationships and
romance.You are absolutely
not going to be absolutely gaga over each other every single day for the rest
of your lives, and all this “happily ever after” bullshit is just setting
people up for failure. They go into relationship with these unrealistic
expectations. It’s a bullshit.
Third : The most important factor in a
relationship is not communication, but Respect. What I can tell you is the #1 thing,
most important above all else is respect. It’s not sexual attraction, looks,
shared goals, religion or lack of, nor is it love. There are times when you
won’t feel love for your partner. That is the truth. But you never want to lose
respect for your partner. Once you lose respect you will never get it back.
Next Point is NEVER talk shit about
your partner or complain about them to your friends. If you have a problem with
your partner, you should be having that conversation with them, not with
your friends. Talking bad about them will erode your respect for them and make
you feel worse about being with them, not better. Respect that they have different
hobbies, interests, and perspectives from you. Just because you would spend
your time and energy differently, doesn’t mean it’s better/worse.
Fifth : Grow together , Learn together , Stay together, Love together . Respect that they have an equal say in
the relationship, that you are a team, and if one person on the team is not
happy, then the team is not succeeding.
Sixth : Being a good or Special Friend. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff
that hurts. We always talk about what’s bothering
us with each other, not anyone else! We have so many friends who are in
marriages that are not working well and they tell me all about what is wrong. I
can’t help them, they need to be talking to their spouse about this, that’s the
only person who can help them figure it out. If you can figure out a way to be
able to always talk with your spouse about what’s bugging you then you can work
on the issue. Here we means both and its applicable for both of them as well.
No secrets : If you’re really in this together and you respect one another, everything should be fair game. Have a crush on someone else? Discuss it. Laugh about it. Had a weird sexual fantasy that sounds ridiculous? Be open about it. Nothing should be off-limits.
Next : Make promises and then stick to them.
The only way to truly rebuild trust after it’s been broken is through a proven
track record over time. You cannot build that track record until you own up to
previous mistakes and set about correcting them.
Next : A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals
Understand that it is up to you to make
yourself happy, it is NOT the job of your spouse. I am not saying you shouldn’t
do nice things for each other, or that your partner can’t make you happy
sometimes. I am just saying don’t lay expectations on your partner to “make you
happy.” It is not their responsibility. Figure out as individuals what makes
you happy as an individual, be happy yourself, then you each bring that to the
relationship.
Give each other space : Be sure you have a life of your own,
otherwise it is harder to have a life together. What do I mean? Have your own
interests, your own friends, your own support network, and your own hobbies.
Overlap where you can, but not being identical should give you something to
talk about and expose one another to. It helps to expand your horizons as a
couple, but isn’t so boring as both living the exact same life. You and your partner will grow and change in
unexpected ways